Thursday, November 12, 2009

How the Retired Should Be Attired (for Syd)

This photo is for my blogging buddy, Syd, who is going to be retiring from his job fairly soon. I want Syd to know how retirees should dress. You also probably need to move on down to Florida, Syd, so you can join the other retirees and fuck up the nation's voting process.

Everysinglefuckingday, SB dreams of retiring, but when I filled out my 401-K paperwork the other day, and they asked me when I thought I might actually be able to retire, I answered honestly. I put retirement age: 95. I have a little hope that I can catch me a rich pepaw sugar daddy, but you can't count on that shit.

17 comments:

The Dish said...

The combination of the nut hugger shorts and the socks is getting me slightly aroused...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

That made me laugh.

Ms. Moon said...

Oh Lord. If Mr. Moon ends up looking like that I will shoot my own self.

justme said...

Ewwwww Dish!!

95...isn't that the sad truth though.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
I know, I thought can't his woman give his old-fogey ass some fashion pointers? But then I looked at her hairdo again. She probably thinks he's cum-worthy, judging by that hairdo.

Jesus.

Syd said...

SB, I wouldn't be caught dead in that get up. What's with those shorts that show the varicose veins and those socks and buckled shoes. Not my style. Ripped jean shorts are more like me. And besides I'm not that old by a long shot. I also think that they might shoot a liberal in Florida.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
I know you're not that old. I'm just having you on. I think the fact that they are black socks and dress shoes makes it especially horrifying.

Ms. Moon lives in Florida, and they haven't shot her ass. You'd be fine.

Petit fleur said...

SB, GREAT Post!Hmmmm...

Dish, you may need to get you some if peepaw's sox and tight slacks/shorts are getting you in the mood. hee! :-p

Syd... You are correct. If you are a liberal in FL, you just may get shot! Although there seems to be an exception for women, and that is why Ms Moon remains unharmed, as do I. Also, I can't believe you don't love those buckle shoes!

Mary LA said...

He looks as if he is telling an unfunny sexist joke from 1974 and his wife has jumped in with the punchline.

Where did you get this photo? I hope they're not close family relatives.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mary LA, my dear, welcome!

I found the photo by googling for retirees or something like that.

No, not relatives. Thank Christ.

Please come back and join us often. We have a damn good time here.

Love, SB.

white rabbit said...

Ermm...

Manboobs.

Mangut.

Maroonish shorts (too tight)

Sinewy bit on bare thigh.

KNEE LENGTH SOCKS!!!!!

I repeat...

KNEE LENGTH SOCKS!!!!!

Black shoes with buckles.

What a moving fashion disaster area.

Glimmer said...

OMG, is he from the Midwest? My crazy husband, from Iowa, will come home from work and dis-suit except for the black socks and loafers, put on some ripped up cutoffs and actually go outside like that. My son and I say "nice outfit" and he laughs. I will call him the name of a nutty rocket scientist neighbor who dresses like that all the time. But. Husband. Doesn't. Even. Care.

I have this idea that you can shame a southern man for dressing oddly, but many Midwestern men, no. I've told him, "It's like you are from another country, not even the United States" and he tells me, "If you will recall it was the South that tried to secede."

I could go on, but you quite get my point, I'm sure.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

White Rabbit,
Did you say "sinewy"? Let's get married! I do so love a man with a vocabulary.

It's the English major in me.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Glimmer,
Your husband sounds great! Absolutely great.

Love you. Have a great weekend.

SB

Lori said...

What is the fascination with old men and black socks? Sorry, don't find them the least bit appealing. I will probably retire the same age as you. Everyone I know who is retired is always complaining how bored they are and wish they were back at "their old job". Proves we are never happy, lol. Ah, God Bless the lovely couple in the photo, black socks and all.

Bethany said...

Yee HAW!

white rabbit said...

Sarcastic Bastard said...
White Rabbit,
Did you say "sinewy"? Let's get married!


Wow! My first online proposal!!!

wv: poinglog