Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Urgent Question from a Customer

This is going to sound strange, but what does your Catfish Charlie Blood Catfish Dip Bait taste like? It?s item IK-111006 in your Internet. I think my girlfriend may have tricked me into eating some of it on a cracker. It tastes what I imagine rotten fish would taste like. She cried, saying it was a cheese spread she’d been working on all day, but that may have been faking. It turned my stomach like nothing before and I spewed, so I don’t think I’m poisoned or anything. I think it was the catfish bait because she wouldn’t eat any (says she’s lactose intolerant or some horse shit) and she wouldn’t let me take any to her mom in the retirement home because she’s on a strict diet. So do you think it was catfish bait or just some really bad cheese spread?

I eagerly await your response.

11 comments:

The Dish said...

I just spit soda on my monitor. Kudos to you! That is some funny shit right there!

Syd said...

I can't begin to imagine what it was. But maybe I don't want to know. Best to not eat anything that smells bad IMO.

Nellie said...

Holy Shit! Where the hell do you find this stuff? Where do these people come from? Mind you, I do sometimes consider cleaning the toilet with Mike's toothbrush when I'm really, really angry. But I could never go through with it. I'd feel too guilty and buy him a new one before he found out. Wonder what this guy did to deserve being fed fish guts on a cracker?

Petit fleur said...

Are those the only 2 choices?

gingermagnolia said...

I'm thinking if you have to ask, it probably was.

Ms. Moon said...

It's too late to worry about it now, baby. Either way, your girlfriend is not happy with your shit.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
If it made you spit soda, I'm glad I posted that shit, girl.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
That's my policy too. If it's stanky, I don't ingest it.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Nellie,
That made me laugh. I thought about the toothbrush thang too when I was married, but could never do it either. We're too goddamn nice.

Love you so,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Guess so PF.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Gingermagnolia,
I'm with you woman.