Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I'm a Realtor. I Won't Hurt You.

This is another Aunt Carol story. I think I mentioned in the first post on Aunt Carol that she was a realtor. She worked her ass off to pass the math, so that she could get her realtor's license. Both Carol and I were math-challenged. I was really proud of her for passing her real estate exam, because I saw some of the exam questions and Jesus.

Anyhoo, one time Aunt Carol was driving along the highway, and she saw a lady parked at the side of the road with her flashers on. Aunt Carol, realizing this lady must be in some distress, pulled off the road in front of her and walked back to the lady in the car. [This was in the halcyon days before every asshole had a cell phone.]

When Carol got to the lady, the lady refused to roll her window down. Carol kept motioning to the lady to roll down the goddamn window, but the lady was putting safety first, by God, and there was no way in hell that bitch was rolling the window down.

Aunt Carol, always a quick thinker, reached in the pocket of her suit and pulled out her real estate business card, which included a snappy smiling photo of herself. Carol knocked soundly [again] on the window, waved the card, and said [LOUDLY], "I'm a realtor. I won't hurt you."

I can't tell you whether the frightened woman finally rolled the damn window down or not, but this story has become classical family lore. Classic Carol.

Goddamn, I miss her.

8 comments:

Chic Mama said...

Made me smile too. I can just picture it. ;0)

Petit fleur said...

Good thinking Carol! ha! I love it. I can imagine her over enunciating and speaking loudly and slowly...

I W-O-N-T H-U-R-T Y-O-U!

Ms. Moon said...

That was priceless. I wish I'd known Aunt Carol.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
I wish you had too. She would have liked you.

gingermagnolia said...

Hahaha, the lady couldn't have opened the window just a crack?!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Gingermagnolia,
She was a fraidy cat.

sean said...

Aunt Carol "Your such a real Realtor", nice story make me laugh but that's the reality behind realtor's life. Hope to read more from you. Nice one man...

sean@Realtors

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Sean. Lovely of you to say.

Come back and join us often. My regular readers are mental, but harmless.

Love, SB.